What we perceive as imperfections in others, and see as annoying, triggering behaviors, can be viewed in a different way. Those same behaviors and habits that make us crazy can instead be what remind us of how lucky and blessed we are to have those people in our lives. The top left off the toothpaste, can, if we let it, remind us of the love that person has for us. Interestingly, so much of what bothers us in life is actually the same stuff that gives us our sense of connection. Habits, of both others and our own, help to give us our sense of meaning.
The challenge is to see the opportunity to define that meaning; to choose our responses, and in that process redefine our feelings.
We see the clothes on the floor, the top of the toothpaste off, or whatever… and we have a flash of anger or depression. “Why is he or she doing that to annoy me?” we ask. Our assumptions about the behavior lead to actions that hurt us both psychologically and physically. With that flash of emotion; whether it be; anger, annoyance, depression, or anxiety, we become fatigued. When the emotion rises again and again at this very simple behavior, a cycle is set in us so that we default into a set of actions. Those actions cause separation and anxiety instead of calm.
Instead of having those annoying actions upset us, we can use them instead as a reminder that we are not alone.
We can either accept those annoyances as a signal to remember our connection with the person, or we can create stress and fatigue in ourselves. We can look at those triggering behaviors as proof of a life together, proof of love, or only as an annoyance. The choice is up to us. The innocuous behavior that annoys does not need to ruin a life together. We can use it as a chance become more aware of ourselves. Use the chance to see the actions of others differently. We have a choice to have less fatigue, less stress, and a generally happier life when we become aware.
We have choices of how we react to the daily stuff. The choice is actually stark. Either we are upset and anxious, or lucky and blessed. It is our choice to come into awareness of our unconscious reactions and to then even create our own happiness.
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